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Most of you who follow me do so because of my show accurate MLP mane and tail sculps- what I fondly refer to as my "Pony Project".  As many of you have noticed, I've been on an extended break.  When I started my "Pony Project" over two years ago, I never expected it to get anywhere near as big as it did.  We're now almost a quarter of the way into 2014, and I figured it might be time to open up a little bit about what's been going on, why nothing has been going on, and where I'm hoping to take things from here.

About a year ago I pretty much dropped all work on this and gave little explanation as to why.  On the surface, it was because I took on large commission, the incentive ponies for the BronyDoc group's additional material DVD campaign.  This was indeed one of the reasons I dropped the "Pony Project" rather suddenly, but even if I hadn't accepted that commission, I probably would have dropped things anyway.  On a side note- for those that contributed to the BronyDoc, I very much hope that you're happy with those little ponies.  I had lots of fun (but also suffered many hardships) piecing them together and making something I could be proud of.  (I still need to post some pictures of the finished BronyDoc ponies up here on my dA account)  

The main reason I was having difficulty with my "Pony Project" is because I go through bouts of minor depression.  I say minor, but those of you who have suffered from depression know that even a little bout of depression can cripple aspects of your life.  For me, when depression hits, one of the biggest challenges I face is that I am completely unable to make decisions.  There were times when I would be driving down a road, and when I'd ask myself if I wanted to go to store A or store B first, I found myself unable to make any choice at all.  I'd just continue to drive down the road until something in my brain would finally snap and I'd turn around, usually just to go home.  When you apply that sort of indecision to all aspects of your life, it's pretty debilitating.  

The problem with the "Pony Project" was that I had LOTS of decisions to make.  One of my biggest difficulties with it was that my original sculpts and my molds were all breaking down.  I was at a point where I could not repair these any longer and I was taking it very personally that I wasn't able to keep up with demand, and felt like I was letting everyone down.  I spent weeks trying to figure out how I could salvage things and find a long-term solution- and the longer I thought about it, the more depressed I became because there really was no long-term solution.  When the BronyDoc project was offered to me, I jumped on it because it offered me an alternative to facing my "Pony Project" problems...

Its now one year later, and the BronyDoc project is finished and behind me.  I went through some ups and down on the project, but the big thing is that I finished it.  Finishing something feels good, and left me in a better spot than I was before.  So being in this enlightened (i.e. not crippled) state, I reviewed my short list of half-assed, probably-wouldn't-work solutions that I brainstormed a year ago, and decided that I still want to be an active contributing member of this fandom.  I was supposed to look at this list and decide if any of my hair-brained ideas could push the project forward once again, but hey, finding the resolve to say that I wanted to continue come hell-or-highwater was a good start...  A year also made a huge difference in one of the options I had been considering- and between that and my new-found resolve, I made a decision.

On Monday I purchased two very expensive toys:  A 3D Scanner and a 3D Printer.  My hope is to digitize as much of my old work as I can, as best as I can, thus preserving it.  But better yet, if all goes well, I should be able to print out copies.  If I can print out copies, I can sell kits and ponies again, and THEN...  maybe then all you insatiable rabid followers will stop bugging me and making me feel bad for not offering anything for so long!  ;)

All of this is very dependent on many things- and by no means does this mean that I'm suddenly going to be taking orders for kits and ponies any time soon.  I don't even have a tracking number for my new toys yet, and it's probably not going to be as easy as scanning a mane/tail kit and printing out a perfect duplicate...  The important thing here is that I have found the resolve to push things forward, and I've taken a huge leap to at least attempt to overcome the hurdles that last year I found so insurmountable.  

And if it all goes well- please stay tuned for a Muffin Kit.  Derpy gets priority.
  • Listening to: Babymetal (they're Japanese)
  • Drinking: Chocolate Milk
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plaidsandstripes Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Winner Go, Awesome-Person, Go!  Winner 
valleyviolet Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Hobbyist
I realize I'm late to the party here, but I totally understand where you're coming from. I've struggled with both depression and my physical health affecting my ability to work on art... and I've had some success with using automated tools to take over some of the steps that were most painful. I hope the computer modeling works out for you! :)
Tonboko Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014
Oh my!!! I would love to get the kits I missed out on before... as well as any new creations you come up with!
hastypixels Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Professional General Artist
Welcome back.
OEmilyThePenguinO Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow, congrats on the 3d printer and scanner! 

good to know you haven't abandoned your project... and I wish you luck in the future <:}
psychotaryin Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better! I know how hard depression can be, even if from the outside it seems like such a small thing. Hopefully with the 3D printer this will become a much easier project for you to manage!
Gustybv Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Professional General Artist
oh wow, a 3D printer is an interesting route to go, but I think it will give you a really nice result 8)
crazedfox13 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Good progress.

True friends will always be here for you.
& I'm sure from all here, that holds true...

 Keep healing, & keep moving forward.
DeadParrot22 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
Sorry to hear about your bout with depression, but so happy to have you back!
Best of luck with the 3D printing!
I've been wanting to get one myself (just for the heck of it) but haven't quite taken the plunge yet.
Blayaden Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As a person who suffers from chronic depression (and knows EXACTLY what you're talking about) I feel for ya man.  Its not easy at all.

Boy, a 3d scanner AND printer!  Sounds like you've got some fun ahead of ya!  I'd love to play with one of those things. :)

You can bet I'll sign up for a few (especially a muffin kit) ... when they're ready of course. ^^
naox Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
Well, if anything, you'll have a new toy to play around with if things don't work out (granted, I am rooting for you because your sculpts are amazing).
Drewdini Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome back to active duty, Squirrel. We missed ya, and we're glad to have ya back. :)
Shattered-Earth Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014   Digital Artist
Thanks for coming back and opening up about your challenges with depression, although no one needs an excuse to not do some fandom work (you could have just stopped for no reason at all and people shouldn't complain) it's always helpful to sort of "demystify" mental illnesses and normalize it for the public who still have preconceived notions about what they mean and who is affected by them :O

I hope the upswing continues and that you have FUN with the 3D stuff, then if you still want to i look forward to seeing those new pony items :), but seriously the 3d printer sounds like super fun @_@! I'm thinking about getting into rudimentary 3d modelling to make simple items and jewelry for myself via shapeways haha.
luna-notte Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
While I don't get the reason for the Derpy love and her being first, it's great to see you (maybe) back!
ArcCahlon Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah depression no matter how minor can be just as bad as severe depression. glad your doing well right now and i wish you luck on getting back into gear doing what ya like. 
Loucathwil Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I know that feel- depression - wise, and well done you for looking after yourself properly :)
AnubicDarque Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am glad that you are feeling better, and it is good to hear from you.  I still have my pinky and pinkamina kits.  (I have not yet painted or put them on a pinkiepie  due to similar things)  oh and Derpy rules       
ShutUpSprinkles Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Professional Filmographer
I'm happy you're doing a lot better. I missed seeing your work, and thought that perhaps it had something to do with time commitments outside of deviantART or a lack of interest in the show (though, with your sculpting skills, I'd love to see anything from you! Haha). :)
Blues-Eyes Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I honestly just recently watched you (And found your work), and I was somewhat disappointed that the account was inactive. But I still watched you in hopes of seeing more, and I'm glad I did! Your work is amazing, probably some of the best customs I've seen in my nearly 2+ years in the fandom. Hopefully by the time I get the money, you will have some kits or ponies available. I'm glad to see you back, and better. Being depressed myself (On medication, but still.), I know how hard it is to overcome even the smallest amount of it. No drive to do anything, can't think straight/make decisions, ect. So its wonderful to see someone, especially an amazing artist, overcome it. :)

Ps, do you plan on making a Luna kit, or even a Sombra one in the future? ouo And how much would they run? Same question with a custom of either one.
OtakuSquirrel Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yup, Luna is on the list- Sombra would be fun, but without a widely available male pony base, I don't see myself making a kit for him anytime soon.  I have no idea on the price, and can't even hazard a guess until I'm more familiar with the printer and know how much the costs of using it will run.  
AleximusPrime Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh that's awesome!  The 3D Printer and Scanner bit I mean.  :3

But it's ok, we all understand the hiatus.  It's good to hear you still want to be a contributor to the fandom though.  :nod:  And once again, it's great to hear you purchased the scanner and printer and I am sure you will make some awesome stuff!  I sure hope I can get one someday cuz that would be a really good thing for me to have!  :nod:
Osi-chan Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
I'm really glad to read that! Good luck with this 3D printer and stay strong!!
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